If you ask me, the strength in relationships lies solemnly in the power of the heart and the brain. A bond is strong only because the heart and brain work together to make it so. A strong relationship is built up of how much sentiment you’re willing to give or take in the course of the bond (=rationale behind the heart), and how much you’re willing to acknowledge concerning the purpose of the bond (=rationale behind the brain).
And I believe the balance in both sustains a relationship, while variations cause the bond to be a weak one, or a selfish one, or more of those classifications we did in biology – parasitic… That’s why absence can make the heart grow fonder; and still, absence can make the heart find another. That’s why distance can grow relationship; and still, distance can mar relationship.
There’s this girl at work, we don’t talk. We haven’t spoken to each other fondly for a while, I think about 2months now. The only time there’s communication between us has to concern work. “The file for the report, could you get it ready” “Did you get the letter that should go along with the invoice?” Not as though we had a lot to say to each other before this hostility (we’ve only been colleagues for about 7?8? months. The beef hostile months not inclusive, we’ve never reached out to one another outside work environment before).
The occasional hi and faux compliments ladies like to exchange every now and again, we used to do it, and it didn’t hurt anyone. We had few shared likes (eg. phone and social media, she’s just as obsessed), so we could offhandedly relate without seeming forced or dragged. Just about a simple work relationship we shared. But nowadays, exchanges are so formal and if we happen to be at the same place together, say, the lift, the silence would be so thick, you could cut through it. And you’d hear the snip snip sounds as it’s being cut.
I’m not going to form, “I don’t know how it happened“. I do know, and it’s so silly. Ladies have this thing with pride and keeping grudges, making attitudes and letting situations blow up in proportions it’s ridiculous. Even the ones you think are humble, look a little closer and you might find they’ve contrived skeletons-in-closet plots. I’m a lady and I wouldn’t want to be any other form in my later lives, but I’m not going to pretend the majority of my kind are objective and easy going. At their kindest moods, they are obnoxious and vindictive.
I have few male friends (purely platonic) and female friends equally, and from the top of my head, I can say that the females are more work than the males, but have to be tolerated more because they (we) rule the world (I know this was a cheap shot).
I’m going to say what conspired between happened this lady and me. She acted offensively to me (words and act). She came to admonish me about something I did which I knew I did, but didn’t take as seriously as she obviously did. You would laugh if I say what it was. She asked if “something” was available and I told her it wasn’t. Note that her work would have progressed further if that something were.
Now the next day she sees the something with someone else and that’s when she came to confront me. I understood her seeming anger and as I tried to explain to her, she put up her puny palm in the air (like hold it! I’ve had enough) and started to walk away. She’s younger so I felt slighted. I went extra to call after her, but she stayed walking away. Thing is, the something wasn’t available the day she needed it, it only just came in that morning or I wasn’t sure where it was the day before. One of the two. But you know we ladies, she was already enraged.
Didn’t mean I should allow such from her. Please No. I left my desk and I saw her somewhere around and I told her, “That was very very rude and was totally unnecessary”. And I walked away. Since then she started throwing her face away whenever she sees me. You would think I affronted her and not the other way. In my opinion, that’s just an immature mind. She’s acting her age perhaps.
With others that offend me or I offend, I don’t resent them. Somehow, we find ways to resume communication. But with her, it hadn’t happened that way. If I cherished her friendship, I would have given her a piece of my mind and made her give me hers. Like an hour ago she came to ask for something and left really quickly like she had a time limit to be at my desk. As she left I laughed, and that’s when it occurred to me this brain and heart business in keeping relationships.
The heart adds up the feelings and emotions, while the brain does the logic. Like, Ok fine, he’s your friend and he’s a caring and loving person to be with (heart), but he doesn’t add positive value whatsoever to your life and all he does is get you into activities that could taint your image and you keep bruising (brain). If life doesn’t randomly bring you and that person to meet halfway in friendship, unconsciously, you wouldn’t make the effort to do so. Or is it just me?