Not something that happens often, I decided to pay a weekend’s visit to the folks. I haven’t visited in a while and phone calls have been epileptic. And if I have to be honest, the last few calls have been more for courtesy than genuine concern. The kind with the unspoken message “You’re still hanging in there yea?!”
And what do you know, this particular visit, they weren’t as excited to see me as in the past. How it made me smile. The feeling of not being special suddenly unburdened my chest, I don’t know if that makes any sense.
If I could make some guesses, for one, I arrived too late and intended to leave too early. My dad has never liked that.
I remember my last visit, barely 3 months ago, after he suppressed his joy unsuccessfully when I showed up unannounced, the first question he asked was when I planned to leave. I’d arrived close to the evening on a Saturday.
When I told him I’d be leaving the next day, he looked disappointed and asked why I would show up so late only to leave the next day just putting stress on my body.
Do you always give advance notice to your host?
For the second guess, it could be the fact that I’d already announced my visit even a week prior to this past week that I made the trip, which is something I never do. I had already watered their desire to see me by setting up their minds. Which in this case, was the plan.
Preferably, I’d always choose to sneaking up and catching them unawares, but this is never really the best of plans. So far, advance notices have usually been safer, my God.
The sneaking up, to be honest, requires more planning and calculations to be executed perfectly. I mean, I have to set the sneak up act to a period where I believe I look super nourished and my healthiest. Otherwise, my surprise visit would appear with a rehabilitative undertone. And that can bring a lot of negativity towards me.
I also have to make sure to have kept in touch no lesser than 4/5 days before the time I choose to make an appearance. Again, the otherwise surprise visit would come with a questioning factor.
Imagine having to clear out your weekend, or just to deprive yourself of some “relax and sleep weekend” to make a trip, only to be made to feel like you had a motive other than a visit.
Dad & Mum’s Interpretation of an Unexplained Visit
Untimed visits without a proper health assessment can be catastrophic.
For Good Sneaky Visit results, I’d have to do the Last Visit state vs Current state comparison of almost all physical parameters (weight, skin color, skin condition, eye color, vocal strength, body temperature…) and be assured that they have a 95-100% match rate. If not, abort mission! Cancel visit. Sneak no more.
Imagine the disaster from the error of omission of “Before” photoshoot!
1. Asides my mum assuming I’m not doing very well spiritually, if any sign of weight loss, she’d want to enquire about my social life to locate any record of a gap. Perhaps I’m not doing very well with my brethren hence the attacks that impoverished me.
She’d then do this thing where she’ll insist and press on wanting to visit where I live, which I refuse all the time. For no reason really, except that idiom about giving a person an inch and how they’ll take a mile…
Now imagine a poorly planned sneak up act, my “impoverished” state would only fuel her desire to push for the visits more to probably “investigate” the cause of my “conditions”. Lotssa air quotes here, darn!
2. For my dad, he would only throw hints at his wonderment on how I manage my finances because he’d keep asking if I was sure I wasn’t in need of anything. And he’d remind me countless times that he was willing to provide for me even though I stayed far from home.
As much as this should make me feel loved and being considered, it leaves me feeling rather self insufficient. And the concern makes me feel sad
Here I am, slowly falling into pace with the unenthusiastic ambiance. Wishing visits like this could occur more.