Why do non single ladies deny their relationships, he asked

Why do non single ladies deny their relationships, he asked

Someone recently asked me why I wasn’t attached to anyone.

If not for the cautiously grave tone in his voice that made it seem like my relationship status was a morbid condition, it would have been a common inquiry that I could have given the regular broad answer to. Because really, majority of single ladies have a plethora of reasons why they’d rather stay relationship free; reasons ranging from core individual choices to feeble family choices.

Rather, I chose first to know why he asked.  For the first time, I was interested in someone else’s inferences regarding my relationship deprivation. We were fresh acquaintances and he had a girlfriend he treated like an egg. So I knew he wasn’t asking because he had designs on me and wanted to know if he could fill the relationship gap slot.

Disappointingly, his reason for asking was the usual limited allusion to “ladies like you have boyfriends”.

Please explain. I don’t understand.

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He couldn’t explain explicitly as he was trying to dodge offending me. After a couple of incomplete articulated sentences with rapid gesticulations, he decided to lay it on my court by pushing the words to me, “You should understand what I mean, c’m on”.

I didn’t. Sincerely. I mean, in what aspect was he particular about “ladies like me“?

For instance, let’s take some calculated guesses with respect to ladies like me

+ Insecure ladies like me? – So we need some sort of protection by someone else always?

+ Secure ladies like me? – So we contribute our quota to the society by always having another person to be accountable for?

+ Dependent ladies like me? – So we couldn’t really get by on our own even if we have the means and resources?

+ Independent ladies like me? – So we always need to have someone to shove in their faces what is meant by gender equality?

+ Wild ladies like me? – So we should need someone to tame us?

+ Skilled ladies like me? – So we need to have someone always to reform?

+ Quiet ladies like me? – So we always need someone to relate with us, so we don’t get lost in the crowd?

+ Loud ladies like me? – So we always have someone to talk to lest we die from choking words up in our stomach?  …..

I could go on, but deep down in my stomach, I knew he spoke in terms of physical attributes.

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But since I acted like I was confused about what he meant, he tried unsuccessfully to move forward. I wasn’t going to make it easy for him because I was really tired of people using that precise statement as regards being in a relationship.

It’s easy for you to have a boyfriend

Since life is really all about growing relationships and producing children?

I begun to explain to him how it was a simple matter to get on a train with the next person that wishes to boogie down, but instead I’d want to minimize the frequency of relationship regrets in my life that I can control by mindfully filtering through the options.

It’s only easy to have a boyfriend when this boyfriend’s reason to have me is singularly for appearance. That shouldn’t be the setting point of a relationship for me…

Related: When future husband does not know you’re future wife

I was on a row until he said, “If he knew you were denying him like this, almost like you don’t appreciate your relationship. So unfair.”

Imagine. Why are people like this? Why is the knowledge of some ladies being single be something to raise eyebrows at?

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145 Comments

  1. Loool.. He is just a block head. But for reals, when nice looking guys try to talk to me i never for a mini second imagibe they’re single…
    If they really are… He just has to be some sort of psychopath .. I mean.. That’s the only explanation. ONLY!

    1. Hahaha if we’re being totally honest, I also think that too. That a fine person is taken. But I don’t argue with them when they say they’re not single haba. Or ask a second time so they have a chance to change their mind to what I think

  2. I don’t get it too, these days I am beginning to feel awkward about being single, now if anyone asks I just try to dodge the question and laugh it off

  3. I think fine people can be very single. Most guys assume the ladies aren’t single so they don’t bother asking them out while most ladies believe the guys can’t be single so they don’t accept their proposals.
    And the ones who usually step up are those who don’t have regards for people’s feelings so you see, the nice ones end up quite single

    1. They do don’t they! You should have read ChidiOnye reply above! He got it all figured out.

      Thanks for reading dear

          1. I’m really having fun over here?s😆😆😆😆
            Now you know the evils of stereotyping😠😠😠 “in my father’s voice”

  4. I think people argue with you about your singleness just for conversation sake sometimes. It’s silly, but I have had guys say such just to get a reaction. People are weird.

  5. Chidonye has took the words of my mouth. That’s exactly what I want to say. Really cute ladies and guys are single because every one thought they are taken and therefore don’t approach

  6. His comment was definitely an icebreaker and a very primitive one. He was definitely referring to physical appearance, since that is the first thing guys notice about women. Not taking into account that there may have been others before him that approached you with a similar if not the exact comment. Some guys fail to realize, especially if a women is extremely attractive, that she has probably heard most of it before. Unorthodox Comments like these have a better shot: “Excuse me, how are you, I couldn’t help but notice you and I’d be a fool if I let you walk way without knowing who you are” or something funny like “Excuse me, do you mind if I get a picture with you, so I can prove to my friends back home that girls like you really do exist”. A lot a guys don’t know how to be original these days and they pay for it for starting conversation like that.

    1. Excuse me, can you say that to me directly, I don’t care if you female (or male), my answer is Yes 🙄😍

      I haven’t heard that kind of original wooing wow. I’m starting to rethink and wonder what kind of people I’ve had around me

  7. There are guys who still assume most beautiful and intelligent ladies are in serious relationships. I kinda learnt to not bother imagining it myself, like, if I wanna know, I just ask, if not, I don’t visit the subject of relationship

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