This is how I fell in love with a suspect!

I fell in love with a man who intensely suspected his wife to be bisexual that he arranged for a lie detector test to prove it. For real, I’m not lying. I got sprung!

Urban Dictionary: “Sprung”
when you first lay eyes on someone- and even though your logic tells you otherwise you can’t help but want to know them and be close to them. When every text or phone call makes you smile. And every song brings a mental picture of them to your head and you wish they were there to listen to it with you.

When there is no where in world you’d rather be but with them. When shivers go down your spine every time you hear them say your name… When it physically hurts you to want them so bad. When you can’t even put it into words what is going on inside… it just feels crazy and great..

Sometime at the beginning of this year, I got sprung. It wasn’t the kind that happened with the bus crush, or the restaurant crush, this was real, non-movie unadulterated love.

You know how I’ve been tangled with flings primarily grounded on groping and fondling one another? So of-course I was quick to notice that my rapport with this person grew without involving any physical intimation, which is something that truly truly felt new, solid and genuine.

I felt all the gut-wrenching emotions related to maintaining clarity around a person, and I struggled to control my breathing whenever I had to leave him (the implication of being left hit me all the time). Maybe it’s why I was assured that it was the right kind of love- the pure kind.

But it could only have been a right kind with this presupposed right person if it had happened in an alternate universe where he didn’t already have a wife who already had 4children for him, even though the age gap between us wasn’t much of an issue (8yrs).

Related: I want to say Husband Material but…

How This Love Happened

For the first time after about 5months at my place of work, I felt the desire to have my lunch outside my company’s premises. Commonly, the average distance to restaurants with good enough tasty meals is quite a walking distance, dear Lord.

It seems farther to me because I have to make the walk on heels, still… (walk?…No taxis?..tricycles? Believe me it’s a way longer distance by car than it is by foot because of the uni-directional system peculiar to streets around Victoria Island.

(I’m not aware of other LGs that operate with these systems as earnestly).

Any-who, it compels me to just pay for my lunch to be delivered at the office, then have the meal at the kitchen or the lunchroom every other day when I don’t feel like snacking.

But that day I was in The mood so I headed out. By myself. And walked! Not because I wanted to —you understand yea..

I got to the location sweating a bit, but not really tired. I could make the journey back comfortably without spending extra lunch time once I take my meal.

How Your Meal Preference Will Reveal Who Your Friends Are

Standing by the counter in the restaurant, I heard a statement directed at me, but it didn’t come from the attendants. It had to be me because I was the only one around that space.

“You have a small stature. You must be an intern” 

Related: Techniques of approaches in a restaurant when you like someone

I pretended to be selectively deaf and mute, my name wasn’t called after all. Seconds later and I could feel his stare on me. So I let some more seconds pass before I shot him a lazy inquiring glance, sort of like to infer “Can’t you can see I don’t care to respond to you”.

The man who uttered those sentences had a smug look that screamed he knew too well I wasn’t an intern. He took his order of beans, plantain with fish, but remained in the same position, not moving an inch away.

When are you content with being single?

I didn’t affirm or negate the statements he blurted earlier, I didn’t think I needed to. There are more polite ways to start a conversation. However, being my usual hopeless self, I smiled as I waited to get my order.

I think that kindled the spirit of patience in him, as I noticed he started to grin, even after I’d been given my boring pies and all. He was on a well fitted suit and he had slightly receding hairline.

He was huge-ish, clearly good-looking with a toned body (It looked like his tummy was flat). I noticed his stance the instant I walked in- how the restaurant was structured, he had his butt facing the entrance/exit.

Inescapably, we got engrossed in what appeared like a suggestion-counter response conversation, all the while standing. At some point I had to mention my need to leave for my workplace, and he offered to give me a lift.

Initially I refused, but not because I didn’t want him to, (please, after the way I’d laughed when he made some sarcastic remarks, it was apparent I had no more pride left in my reserves)…

But asides it being out of his route (I get uneasy with surprised favors), the circuitous, long journey we’d be subjected to due to the unidirectional traffic situation was not something I was looking forward to.

Then he persuaded and argued that he couldn’t zoom off knowing he kept me longer at the restaurant, plus we could talk more as he had a chauffeur to drive him. I gave in, easily.

Subsequent Fridays he would send this driver to come pick me up from work and thereafter we’d spend the evening till late at night at fancy restaurants, pizza hunting, karaoke bar or the movies. (No physical intimation all the while).

He was an interesting fellow. Meanwhile, the synchrony between us got me somewhat wary of him.

Our Coincidental Love Synchrony

+ One time with him I found out we went to the same University and shared the same faculty, and off-campus location; although he graduated 100years ago.

   + One time with him I found out he’s the CEO of an emerging Technology firm I had an interest in, doing financially well and he had 3times more employees than my company

+One time with him I found out his wife shared same name as me.

+One time with him I found out his son shared same birthday with me.

+One time with him I found out his wife had the business of which idea I just started working on.

+One time with him I found out I had started to adore him.

+One time with him I found out he absolutely genuinely liked me.

+One time with him I found out spending more time with him was only going to leave me with a careless heart ache so big, i might need an organ replacement if “symptoms continue after seemingly potential days”.

+One time with him he found out I’ve been serious about cutting him off and getting rid of his contact, and he decided to respect my decision by staying away. So he did. Heartbreak

Wishing his baby the best and happiest things in life. Wishing me same.

Happy birthday to us tomorrow!


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  1. Reminds me of when i met a guy in my estate. He told me he had tried to say ‘hi’ and get my number and I had told him I didn’t give my number to people i didn’t know; but now, he said with a grin, he had moved into the house right next to ours so, we would see more…
    He was so friendly and open that I wondered how I had been able to be forceful about my number decision.
    And then, some weeks into this, i ran into him with a child on his shoulders…

    The end.


  2. Where’s the other part? You can’t keep someone hanging like that.

    My bye Felicia is always very loud when I hear you’re married. I like my skin and I won’t acid on it at all.

    1. What I tell people. It’s almost like I should be with binoculars whenever I’m having relatively intense conversations around those people that are married. It’s killing.
      “You’re sitting way too close. *picks up binoculars* gotta check if someone saw that. We don’t want your wife hearing.”

    2. Girl! Have a virtual high five from me. Look, I ain’t pressed , a’ight? I kinda like walking around with ALL my cuteness intact, if you know what I mean. It ain’t NUFFIN someone else’s man gonna do for me. Trust me when I say that I love me some drama-free life. Bro needs to concentrate on his wifey and not be out here being a dog in the manger blocking a sister from getting her blessings. Just saying…

    3. Girl! Have a virtual high five from me. Look, I ain’t pressed , a’ight? I kinda like walking around with ALL my cuteness intact, if you know what I mean. It ain’t NUFFIN someone else’s man gonna do for me. Trust me when I say that I love me some drama-free life. Bro needs to concentrate on his wifey and not be out here being a dog in the manger blocking a sister from getting her blessings. Just saying…

  3. That was a great read. Some time, in another place, and a different universe, surely the stars would have aligned in your favour. Warm greetings!

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