1week into job
Position – Customer Service Officer
Colleague 1 hovering around the desk: (softly mutters to CSO in low tone) *Alphabet Zee is out of town, you should know.
CSO: (to client gently) I’m sorry, *Alphabeth…..
(CSO flustered, tries chasing after him but fails as he’d swerved into an office already. Walks back to her desk with thoughts that he’d be sent right out as soon as he’s identified).
Colleague 1 hovering around the desk: You do know non-staff shouldn’t get to the work station from your desk?!
CSO: (mumbles) …You saw…He just walked…If…I tried…
Colleague 1 hovering around the desk: No, it’s alright. You’re new. I’m just letting you know. Should your boss find out, you know…
CSO: …Yea. Thanks. I totally get.
Later that day, CSO finds out that the supposed Client is same person as the *Alphabet Zee he asked to see; and *Alphabet Zee is the 3rd Boss in charge around the company. He only just resumed after 2 weeks of vacaying, missing out on CSO’s first days of resumption, so he decided to tease her expensively.
(Around 11:00am, Boss 3 is seen again now wheeling same luggage towards the exit)
Hey. Hold up! What’s happening again?
See, I’m dying. I haven’t had anything to eat
So that’s why you’re leaving now???
(blank look) I’ll see you next week. Catch ya
(brings out cookies from bag, and then canned malt from drawer) Will this do?
(He turns. gets closer to desk) My God! (hurriedly tears open the cookie wrapper and pops the malt. drinks halfway) I don’t know what to say! (finishes both at the desk. wheels luggage back into the office) We are now friends! (He yells)
-What do you do to love the letters you were given by dudes in secondary school? He asks seriously. Then a conversation ensues.
-What do you think? Trump or Clinton? You know Trump is going to win…
-Chude is the cause of all these we’re facing in this country! He championed Buhari’s campaign. I wish I could have a conversation with him. Do you still write for him?…
–When editing the invoice to company so so, make it *5million before VAT. (comes back to Admin Asst’s desk) Just make it *4million. (rings her desk later) Have you done the calculations? Seriously I’m thinking *3million. That job was really too easy, forget the standard figure, make the gross *3million then send the total to my mail to review.
-What’s the latest!
-I was arguing with my wife, do you think it’s easier to steal when you have more money, than when you have less?
-Just tell me, what’s the difference in our salaries. I won’t tell anyone I promise
-I think I should quit. I should give in my 3month’s notice soon.
-I want to go out there again. I have a lot of ideas, but I’ll just relax the first few months I leave. I’m mentally exhausted.
Today is *Alphabeth Zee’s last day at work. I’m almost in tears. I’ll edit this post when I remember some other of his quirks. Feeling so sad
*Alphabeth Zee – not real name