The Boss that wouldn’t make himself forgotten

a good day
Disclaimer: This could get you confused as you read on, but if you would read till the end, you might understand the essence. Just two persons involved, having one person in a multifunctional role


1week into job

Position – Customer Service Officer

Client: May I see *Alphabet Zee please?
CSO: erm, Sure. Ok.
      (as an after thought) …Sorry .. May I know your name please?

Colleague 1 hovering around the desk: (softly mutters to CSO in low tone) *Alphabet Zee is out of town, you should know.

CSO: (to client gently) I’m sorry, *Alphabeth…..

Client: (cuts in flatly) …..I heard him. But I’ll just check by myself. Thank you anyway. (Walks right into the office work station).

(CSO flustered, tries chasing after him but fails as he’d swerved into an office already. Walks back to her desk with thoughts that he’d be sent right out as soon as he’s identified).

Colleague 1 hovering around the desk: You do know non-staff shouldn’t get to the work station from your desk?!

CSO: (mumbles) You saw…He just walked…If…I tried…

Colleague 1 hovering around the desk: No, it’s alright. You’re new. I’m just letting you know. Should your boss find out, you know…
CSO: …Yea. Thanks. I totally get.

Later that day, CSO finds out that the supposed Client is same person as the *Alphabet Zee he asked to see; and *Alphabet Zee is the 3rd Boss in charge around the company. He only just resumed after 2 weeks of vacaying, missing out on CSO’s first days of resumption, so he decided to tease her expensively.

Weeks later

One Particular day

(Around 8:20am on a Friday, CSO sees Boss 3 at the entrance wheeling in a luggage into the office)
(confusion spread across her face) Hold up! What’s happening?
(He gets closer) Oh! Yea. Got a flight today. Should leave around 3pm. My best man’s getting married tomorrow.
(Around 11:00am, Boss 3 is seen again now wheeling same luggage towards the exit)
Hey. Hold up! What’s happening again?
See, I’m dying. I haven’t had anything to eat
So that’s why you’re leaving now???
(blank look) I’ll see you next week. Catch ya
(brings out cookies from bag, and then canned malt from drawer) Will this do?
(He turns. gets closer to desk) My God! (hurriedly tears open the cookie wrapper and pops the malt. drinks halfway) I don’t know what to say!  (finishes both at the desk. wheels luggage back into the office) We are now friends! (He yells)

Months later
Position – Admin Assistant
(Walking towards the exit, Alphabet Zee stops for a milli-moment, cuts to the right and leans over the Admin Asst’s desk, like he’s done over 50 times thus far)
-What do you do to love the letters you were given by dudes in secondary school? He asks seriously. Then a conversation ensues.
        Another day
-Can you make perfume? You studied Chemical Engineering right? If you can, then I have a business proposition for you! He says
       Another day
-What do you think? Trump or Clinton? You know Trump is going to win…
       Subsequent other days
-Chude is the cause of all these we’re facing in this country! He championed Buhari’s campaign. I wish I could have a conversation with him. Do you still write for him?…
-What’s the latest?!
-Tell me, did you vote for Buhari?
-The university you finished from, Can you confidently say the top 100 engineers that graduated can build an airplane from scratch? My university, I can. I heard some top engineers from UNILAG say they can. Do you think you can believe them?
-Did you see so and so walk in? What can you say about her?
-Casey Daves! What’s the latest? Written another post on shoes? I should check it out! (he thinks her blog is Casey Daves because he caught her reading it)
– Have you met a real life child genius? You haven’t? Then how do you know they exist?!
– If you were a parent, would you let your kid act the role of that girl in Logan you watched lastweek? OMG…The creators of Logan!
When editing the invoice to company so so, make it *5million before VAT. (comes back to Admin Asst’s desk) Just make it *4million. (rings her desk later) Have you done the calculations? Seriously I’m thinking *3million. That job was really too easy, forget the standard figure, make the gross *3million then send the total to my mail to review.
-What’s the latest!
-I was arguing with my wife, do you think it’s easier to steal when you have more money, than when you have less?

Months later
Position HR Assistant
-So how far, who do you think makes most money here?
(Then after Boss’ 1 and 2 quit as I wrote about here )
-Just tell me, what’s the difference in our salaries. I won’t tell anyone I promise
-I think I should quit. I should give in my 3month’s notice soon.
-I want to go out there again. I have a lot of ideas, but I’ll just relax the first few months I leave. I’m mentally exhausted. 
-I need me a vacation
(tenders 3months notice of resignation)

Today is *Alphabeth Zee’s last day at work. I’m almost in tears. I’ll edit this post when I remember some other of his quirks. Feeling so sad

*Alphabeth Zee

*Alphabeth Zee – not real name

* not real figures

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    1. Really his antics are impeccable. I just mentioned the regular ones so he doesn’t come off weird. One day he went about asking people their blood group. He was bent on finding an O- and an AB (AB right?). The universal donor and universal acceptor. That day was hilarious

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