Parents and their talk about course of study

Parents and their talk about course of study
‘I can make the world a better place. I am going to be a police officer!’ Judy Hopps, first rabbit cop (Zootopia)

When I was younger, Unlike Zaram in her post here, I was one of the few people that had absolutely no idea what to “become in the future”. I ended up studying the course I did because it was suggested by an intuitive neighbor who thought I’d excel better at the discipline than any other. Initially when unsupervised, I was so clueless about passion and aspirations that after my secondary school certificate examination, I applied to study Physiotherapy in the university. This was with no enhanced knowledge of the course asides what I had seen on TV series. I knew it was affiliated to medicine, and also that the profession had to do with hospital sort of.

Parents and their talk about course of study

To be honest I think that was even all I knew about it. And back then I was so against drugs, medications and hospitals. Till now, I’ll rather just let the headache wade off without the use of any drug. But I still applied for Physiotherapy and I have no idea why. This was especially funny to my mother because she feels I’m the narrow-minded, self centered, self indulgent, all about self self self child she has. So she’d ask me how I intend to do hospital work when everything about hospital work involves catering for others. She confuses my living in solitude and being mostly withdrawn from people and things, with being selfish.

It doesn’t help that I have wild and selfless extroverts as siblings though. My sister is that type that would spot you, wriggle her nose, and rush to knowingly invade your space because she wants to help pop the pimple on your face. She will slap your hands away if you try to stop her. If you meet someone like that, it’s probably her, so just save your self the stress and allow her do her thing and then run far away. Growing up with people like that makes it appear as though there’s something flawed about my pronounced lack of involvement.

My father didn’t probe me about my Course choice. He inquired if I was sure about it, and when I affirmed it, he let it go. It was his boss, whom my family had gotten close with for over 10years, that was appalled by my choice and called me up. I was supposed to sit up, sit down and think about the course I wanted to study that did not have Physio in the title. He didn’t want to hear about it, not with the kind of results I left secondary school with. My result was one of the good ones in my set and I wasn’t going to make it a trifling grade by opting for an unfitting discipline.

Parents and their talk about course of study

He didn’t really put it that way, but you could tell from his concern and demeanor that he meant it in exactly that manner. But that my neighbor couldn’t have been any more blunt. She strongly believed I was making a wrong choice and it was up to her to avert it. Like stop me from putting myself in future career jeopardy. The push to change the application wasn’t even from my uncle Boss, even though he had major influence on me. He could have made me change the course simply saying “Change the course”, but my neighbor that took it upon herself to correct my career ignorance.

Parents and their talk about course of study

She is an insightful and perceptive somebody, that woman,. Academically sound and well read. I always did trust her judgement on all matters relating school and books. So when she was disappointed about my chosen course, I was disappointed too. We had to run through courses she thought was best suited for me. While you guys knew intuitively what you were passionate about and how you’d want to grow as an adult being that, I went through pros and cons to find out about mine.

She tried to make it seem like my choice by running over subjects i excelled at and making practical discussions on various disciplines. Thank God for her wisdom. She moved to a different apartment right after my admission so it’s been almost ten years since I heard from her again.


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  1. I think I was very much like you in this ambition department. My career choices were made based on my feelings to subjects. I had become pretty good at technical drawing and had wanted to go into architecture due to that. But my dad had told me it was a Man’s job and i had switched off. My other best subject was chemistry and assuming engineering wasn’t as hard as industrial chemistry, i went into that. They didn’t even know what university selections i made on my Jamb form till it was too late. In my third year, i realised i really didn’t care for my course… And for whatever reason, i decided even though i didn’t care for it, that was no reason to get less than a 2:1. Fast forward 4 years and I’m in tailoring… Pretty much your story tale wuruwuru to the answer.

    1. Just one of our regular tales like you said o.
      At least now you’re in a profession you pretty much see yourself being at for a long time. I think I’ll call that 2/2. Some people still keep on searching and become what my friend calls late bloomers

  2. Lol. On the part about your sister tho.
    The thing with schooling is the fact that you even have to choose a course. Sometimes,I think I’d rather have a taste of it all to help make my choice. Sadly, we don’t have that option.

    I pray that someone like your neighbor comes pretty soon to help you make the right choice. Maybe you might just be your neighbor in this situation.

    1. You made a lot of points to ponder on.
      1) Wouldn’t it be nice to have a taste of all courses and then decide at the end what we want?
      2) Maybe I might be my neighbor!

  3. For more than 6 years of my life, I thought I wanted to study medicine….oh no, that’s a lie, I didn’t think, I knew, slept, breathed, ate the fact that I wanted to study medicine. I was so blinded, that even when my grades weren’t good enough and when I didn’t particularly care much for my work experience at a hospital, I still assumed it was for me. Now I have moved on from that, to law and I still doubt myself…………if only l would find your neighbor to suggest that same profession, maybe I will enjoy it like you did yours.
    To be honest, choosing a career is a very difficult thing and I think family expectation can often sway us in the wrong direction i.e. The drunk archer’s comment about wanting to study architecture and then changing it to chemistry and my deep interest in studying medicine.
    Frankly I am still not certain (although law is not a bad place to start and I can still make changes when I do a masters degree), I hope I meet your neighbor soon, so she can tell me what to do.

    1. But that my neighbor can be disguished as any one in your life giving you “passion” suggestions. You know, that relative we never take seriously, but think is annoying, always asking “why did you stop designing/drawing?, and you were good at it o”.

      PS: I may have studied the course and enjoyed it, but I’ve never practiced in it before. My career has swayed from that region.

      1. True talk Oluchee….
        Thinking about it, back when I was trotting around with medicine on my forehead, a lot of people suggested that I study law instead. Their reason being the regular; you argue too much or you talk too much. I wonder if one or all of them are my ‘your neighbor’

        1. hahaa I only really just recently started rethinking people’s suggestions on things. I used to “follow my heart” and do my thing most time. Seems inconsiderate now that I never gave their opinions second thoughts. Even though for the sake of it

    2. Like you, I wanted to do the medicine thing. My goal was very specific; Genetics Engineering. But it wasn’t feasible, especially in Nigeria so I had to reevaluate.
      I have an ND in Computer Engineering, almost through with a degree in Marine Engine. And consumed by telling stories via writing anD photography/cinematography.
      Sometimes I wonder how much I have evolved, bit I guess that’s how life happens. We figure things about ourselves as we get older and then we can merge these different things together.

      PS: Writing has been the constant in all. And it’s amazing seeing the vacuum in maritime, untold stories waiting and begging to me told. If I had done medicine nko, only God knows.

      1. Was studying medicine something you deeply thought about or something you like the idea of?
        Fortunately for our generation, we have seen doctors who have become lawyers and this has made the whole idea of studying a course you enjoy much easier for society to com e to terms with. Glad to see there is someone else with me!

        1. I picked up Medicine for various reasons.
          It was a cool profession (or so we were made to believe)
          Some things happened while growing up and I felt going into medicine will enable me solve them.
          Also, I had a flair for the sciences. Especially biology, read about genetics while on Junior secondary and was fascinated about the field. So I decided I wanted to become a doctor but not the typical doctor.

          However, like I said in my previous comment, plans changed. But through it all, writing has been a constant and everyday I realise that will always remain a constant no matter where I find myself.

  4. Oh Lord! That your neighbor is soooo me!! I feel so sad when I see people going down a particular path ‘just because’. Your interests are there for a reason. The things you’re passionate about? Also there for a reason. I understand where parents come from when they insist you study a particular course. They mean well (maybe they’re afraid you won’t be able to work with that course after graduation, or like the commenter ‘Drunken Archer’, they may say the course is a man’s job) but the truth is they’re not the ones who live with the repercussions of the choices if all goes awry. I’m happy you had someone like your neighbor in your life. As for furthering your studies, you already said you’re doing your research. Have you thought about shadowing some professionals? It may give you a clearer vision of what to do. I wish you all the best.

    1. Thank you dear.
      Yes. Parents mean well. Some parents overdo their meaning well though, and some others mean the wrong kind of well too ( those that oppose good courses/ambitions just because they feel wealth would not be attained there). But all the same, thank God for second opinions, for others opinions and for all good intentions.

      I haven’t been able to find mentors that I resonate with in terms of their career choices AND working lifestyle. But hopefully I will sooner than later.

    2. I think the passion thing is overrated. We discover things as we grow older and get passionate about them.
      However we should be cretain about the big decisions in life; career, marital etc. However, I believe there are some things you can never discover about yourself until you move and learn. I don’t have everything sorted out yet, but daily, I get a clearer vision of what I want and I am developing passion for what I did know existed already.

      I believe we should have concrete plans about life, but we should also be ready to alter it. Especially when our plans are going south.

      1. Hi Xceptional43.

        “We discover things as we grow older and get passionate about them…However, I believe there are some things you can never discover about yourself until you move and learn.”

        Absolutely. I agree. But we can discover things and still not be passionate about them. And I still maintain that there’s no point in continuously doing those things you’re not passionate about after your discovery of said things. So at the end of the day, I believe passion isn’t overrated after all.

        “I believe we should have concrete plans about life, but we should also be ready to alter it. Especially when our plans are going south.”

        Again, I completely agree. I’m a witness to the fact that sometimes plans go south so that other expedient and necessary things can fall into place. It definitely wouldn’t do to hold on to our original plans in such a situation.

        1. Hi Oma,
          I agree with you too but I still maintained that passion is overated. This might not be the right place to explain it all as I’ve a blog post on schedule to explain that more. But before that, I will search for a wonderful article I read a while ago and share the link here.

          Passion is important, but most times people think it’s all about passion.
          Anyway, let me look for that link.

      2. No, it certainly isn’t all about passion but at least you agree that passion is important. I love the article you linked. I’ll be looking forward to your blog post.

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